Eyes Wide Shut
by ziennajames
Summary: "When James finally started dating 'his' Lily, it was like I lost my best friend. I guess that's when I started to really notice Remus." SBRL, MWPP year 7.
1. Who's That Girl

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

YAY! New stuff! My first SB/RL! And OMG okay dun be too hard on me this is gonna be my first attempt on slight _humor_! OMG Sounds more like horror eh? xD But hey dun blame me for trying 'k? It's nice to try something else then the usual drama… :P So bear with me and just ignore my vain attempts on making you laugh 'k? And I concentrate more on the romance-part anyway… xD Me hopez you likez anywayz/grinz/ Another small thing… I'm trying my very best to keep this story PG-13 for a change. It's more challenging to me then all those (cheesy?) R fics I've written till now. So… Maybe after chapter 9 or something… (YES I've got BIG plans!) But I think no further then some touchy-feely and some groping. After all, if they fuck poor Siri would be stuck as a werewolf's mate forever… Not that he would mind so much… xD I think. gheghe And oh, whole story is all Sirius POV. (Except for the little intro (ignore my attempt on 3rd person writing X.x It sucks.) and the little useless (not really) pieces of poetry in the beginning of every chapter. (I like to think of them as Remmi's POV…))

**Warning: this is SLASH, as in boy/boy relationships, **as you could've read in the summary. Pairing: SB/RL. Dun liky, dun read! (Yes I read those warnings in so many fics… I never got flamed by any yaoi-haters till now, but still… Gotta be careful.)

Summary: (MWPP 7th year) When James finally started dating 'his' Lily, it was like I lost my best friend. I guess that's when I started to really notice Remus. And slowly started to fear that what I felt for him was more then 'just friendship'… (SBRL slash)

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada, only the plot. (a plot/gasp/) I wish I did own it all though… But then the rating of the books would be WAY higher/winks and sticks out tongue/ (Yes I mean some nice DM/HP 'action'… LoL) You should be glad J.K.R. is the wonderful owner and founder of the HP world… /worships J.K.R./_

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**Chapter 1**

**Who's That Girl?

* * *

**

_Who's that girl_

_that you're looking at,_

_that steals your attention_

_away from me._

_You know she's nothing_

_in your twisted mind,_

_in your twisted heart_

_let me savour my place.

* * *

_

He had it all planned out, oh yeah… He would take her out, make her his… Kiss her, use her, own her. And then dump her, just like all the others. He wouldn't even remember her name after a week. He would forget about her, just like all the others. Just like always.

They were just little playthings, pleasure girls. Of course he wouldn't stay with them, what did they think? That wasn't him, that was below his reputation. _Sirius Black, serious playboy_. He could get every girl he wanted, desired at the very moment. Every single one, it didn't really matter which year or house. As long as she was pretty and would give him what he wanted.

Everyone. But maybe there was just one thing they couldn't give. Or maybe he was the one unable to give. Lust, desire… Okay. But more? His satisfaction after a rough night out was only enough to keep him busy for a day, sometimes even less.

Love. What does that word even mean?

* * *

"Oi Padfoot, where ya goin'?" James called out to me when I attempted to leave the common room. Curious, curious, nosey little Prongs… After he started dating his 'dear Lily' he needed to date the rest of Hogwarts out of second hand, which just about meant I had to tell him all about my dating adventures. Or disasters. But hey, he's my best friend, so why not?

It's not like I've got anything better to do anyway… We almost never pull pranks anymore since that goody-two-shoes finally began flirting back at him. About fourteen hours of the day he spends physically with 'Lils', the rest dreaming and talking about her. Drastic changes I would say.

It was like she caught the old Prongs, pro-pranker Prongs, and put him in a bottle far out of reach. Only leaving an empty shell from what first was. A madly in love fool. I promised myself enough times this wouldn't happen to me… So many girls still left to date, I can't steal my gorgeous being way from them, now can I? I'm not that cruel.

"A _date_, Prongs. Brown hair, long legs, fine ass… You can't imaging!" I grinned. He only looked dumbfounded.

"Sounds… good. You mean you still got girls left to date? Don't you ever get tired from switching all the time?"

My turn to look dumbfounded, and shocked too.

"Who… are you? James that's freaky!" Lily, Lily what have you done to him!

"Well, sorry, but Lils and I are planning for after graduation already… Aren't you ever going to settle?" James grinned sheepishly, throwing a quick glance at his Lily, who smiled back. Yuck! They act like some elderly married couple!

"I'll settle when I find my own 'Lily'," I said teasingly, almost mockingly. Forget it Jamie-boy! "I'm off, checking out if this girl could be her."

"Good luck on the hunt then," he teased back and grinned. He seemed totally oblivious to my slight sarcasm earlier. I just returned his grin and left. Sigh. Once best friends… But what was left of that now? Love is a freaking disease, it makes me sick.

* * *

"Who's the new girl, Siri?"

"Juliana Bridani, Hufflepuff. Brown hair, long legs… You should see her Rem, she's gorgeous."

"But?" You know me too well, Moony… He looked at me; his thoughts open on his face. 'Plaything' it said.

"Well… I've said she was a Hufflepuff… Cute, but not the smartest. Not that I really care but… And it's just annoying how she keeps laughing and giggling about everything! I mean, it's all cool to be admired, but she's crossing it! Today she was acting all jealous 'cause I talked to her friend."

"You've done it again, playboy." Remus looked at me with played pity. We sat under the big willow tree beside the lake. He had a book and I was just bored. Things bored me easily now James wasn't there to hang around with all day.

"Oh, shut it Moony! You know the girls here; they do everything to screw a Marauder. Even Peter has his own fan club, though really really small." I frowned. Peter? Dating? He'd wish!

"There are enough girls for you to date, you know, I don't understand why you keep hanging around in the library. Or did you see a nice Ravenclaw?" He didn't react; he knew I was teasing him, testing him.

Next try.

"Go act to your dick instead of your head Moony, it works. You should go out more."

"Tip: maybe it's time for you to act more like me. Or at least act from your heart since you apparently haven't got a brain." He didn't even look up from his book. I stood up abruptly.

"James was much more fun to hang with." I paused. "Before he 'married' Lily of course." I walked away, not intending to look back. When I did, I saw Remus staring at me with eyes full of hurt.

* * *

That night I had Juliana all over me, but I couldn't have cared less. She may have a pretty face and pretty body… But she's still just a girl. And no way she was going to get more. I'm not the one to keep them for more then a day, you know. Two days maybe, at most, but that's a limit.

Maybe Remus was right. I do see them all as little playthings, it flashed through my head.

Remus. That guy is always right. He's such a dork sometimes, with his constant reading and always neatly doing his homework… But he's my friend. Nothing will ever be more important to me then the Marauders, especially not some random girls I'm not even really interested in.

Cute faces, but a lack of brains. I grinned when I thought that, Remus had said _I_ had no brains. Oh, he would see… I just rather use them to plan and play pranks then for schoolwork.

Remus. Why the hurt look earlier? Maybe saying something about James and Lily wasn't the smartest thing to do… He'd just told me some weeks ago he'd crushed on her until 3rd year! Nice move, stupid.

I woke up from my thoughts when I heard a giggle. How could I've forgotten, I had a date in my lap, giggling like mad. I noticed I was still grinning.

"Sirius… Why are you so quiet? You're smiling, what's so funny?" The girl looked up at me with big curious eyes, her full red lips curled into a smile. Soon enough the smile became a senseless giggle again.

I felt how my grin dropped, but tried to keep it on to mask my irritation. I still thought it was noticeable quite clearly; so either I wasn't as obvious as I believed, or the girl was just dumb and slash or totally oblivious. Her giggling hurt my ears and I had to keep reminding myself just _why_ I had chosen her in the first place.

Only to stop the annoying noise I kissed her roughly, relieved that I finally could hear some other sounds then Ju… Julie… Whatever her name was anyway. Till my big defeat she only started giggling more and louder after the kiss, probably believing I actually _liked_ her. Well, I certainly didn't like the headache she was busy giving me! If she would _just shut_ up for just _one sodding single second_!

I felt like screaming, but I'd promised myself I would fuck the hell out of her tonight. And hearing her moan would be a big improvement anyway, that girl her giggling was lethal! No one would notice it, because we were in a deserted classroom. The Room of Requirement was already taken… Oh well. We wouldn't get caught and if we were quick she would be back in her dorm by ten.

As if I really cared, I just didn't wanted to use James's invisibility cloak or the Map in her presence.

* * *

"And, how was she yesterday?" Remus kept on reading his book, eyes fixated on the letters. He clearly wasn't interested, so why did he ask?

"Er… She was…. Good." Good, I guess. I couldn't even exactly recall everything.

"So she was a good shag." He paused. "Nice to know."

Damnit Remus, if you're so obviously not interested then why did you started the subject!

"Yes, she was." I think she was… "Why do you ask? You don't seem one bit interested anyway. You just keep staring in that stupid book of yours and I seem nothing!" I stood up, hitting my head against a low hanging branch of the big willow tree we were sitting under. I was getting too tall for this spot… But the wide view over the lake was too good to even consider switching places.

"What's so interesting about that book that you almost ignore me for it?" I yelled at him. I never yell…

He looked up with big eyes, eyes filled with hurt and regret. "Siri… I'm sorry, now please-"

"You're such a dork! I already know what you're going to say now! 'Sit down, relax, let's talk…' Moony, you must be the most predictable person I've ever met!" But still I sat down next to him again, our backs leaning against the tree. "Well, was I right?"

"Yup, you know me far too well." He smiled at me. I smiled back. Good, so he wasn't angry. His brown eyes were bright and shiny, glinstering… From what? Or was it just the sun…

I moved my gaze to the water in front of us, slowly following the little waves roll, caused by the wind. It was a wonderful scene. The sun shone and it was warm outside, a nice spring warmth. Everything looked so peaceful… Peaceful and innocent.

I looked at Remus again and faintly noticed he was much closer then the last time I'd looked. I realised that the warmth I felt was more from him than from the sun, since he was leaning against me. His book and eyes were closed.

A strand of light brown fell over his eyes, and I reached out to stroke it out of the way. My sudden movement made him open his eyes and stare into mine. They were more beautiful then the water I had been staring at for the last hour. He looked beautiful, with his half-long hair framing his face and the small smile gracing his lips… The sun made him look like an angel, with a bright halo of light above his head.

The realisation that he was far more gorgeous then every girl in the world could possibly be, then anything in the world could possibly be, and the realisation that he was my friend rained down on me at the same time. Then I finally realised how close our faces were and that we were still closing in…

At the moment his lips touched mine I knew I couldn't have cared less about anything but this magical moment.

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Aww! Doesn't that make you feel all fuzzy inside:P haha Too much fluff? Enough 'humor'? I didn't overdo the romance part right/stresses out and bounces around/

And yeah, I think I'm still in the PG-13 range… I hope. xD I know it was short… (people think 5/6 pages is short 0.o) blegh But yeah I just don't write longer chapters very often… Well I do but I just don't have the time to type those long chapters out. So I always break my stuff into pieces… ;o; /sniffles/ Hey, I still got a social life, okay!

Well? Liked it, hated it? Love it, still hate it? Tell me! Yeah, you still remember? Search the little 'go' button… Yes… Good. Now click it. And **REVIEW**! Please/begs/ xD You get cookies you know… Want one? Choco-chip, you liky:)

_EDIT: grammar errors and slight re-write. I'll do this for all the chapters._


	2. This Is Sirious

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

YAY! Chapter 2! I've already got 4 chapters written out… xD gheghe But I just positively HATE to type… Ugh! I'm too lazy… xD Hey at least I don't deny it! And THANK YOU for all the awesome reviews! I never thought I would get so many on just the first chapter… WOW/throws party/ I'll respond to them at the end 'k? Btw, did I mention yet that this is my first Marauders fic? No? Oky, just wanted to tell. :P Hell yeah, I'm proud:D

**Warning: this is SLASH**, as you could've read in the summary. Pairing: SB/RL. Dun liky, dun read. Flamers will be used to make fire. (It's really cold here… brr/sniff/ I hate the winter…)

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada, only the plot. (A plot/gasp/ LoL) J.K.R. is the wonderful owner and founder of the HP world. /worships J.K.R./ Well, owner… She sold it yet?_

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**Chapter 2**

**This Is Sirious!

* * *

**

_She doesn't know_

_you like I do,_

_sometimes you let me wonder_

_if I even really do,_

_knowing you._

_Tell me if you love me too…_

_I can take it no longer,_

_just tell me what to do.

* * *

_

"Moony…" I moaned and shifted, suddenly losing his warmth. Remus? I searched around me, drowsily and fell on a pretty hard floor. I opened my eyes and saw I fell out of bed. Great.

Wait… _Remus?_

I opened the heavy red curtains around my bed and saw the others already up. I greeted James, who was messing with his hair to make it look messy… Is that even making sense? I already knew he was weird and Lily-obsessed, but… Not that I care anyway, as long as his ego isn't getting too big to let me in the same room with him, I'm fine with it.

Next, I walked to the bathroom where I almost ran into a half-naked Remus. He was much more open with things like that after we found out he was a werewolf. Before, he always tried everything to hide his scars; afraid we would ask questions and find out the truth. Now he seemed comfortable enough with us and himself to at least walk to his bed to dress after showering, instead of taking his clothes with him in the clammy bathroom to dress in there. He smiled at me, that beautiful smile, while I gasped at the sight. Of course I'd seen it before and all but… Wow, nice sight…

_Oh. Shit. What. Did. I. Just. Think. About. My. Almost. Best. Friend? NOOO!_

I walked – well, almost ran – into the bathroom, breathing heavily. Okay, so I got thoughts not quite ready to be repeated when I saw him still dripping from the water with only a towel on. _And_ I woke up while apparently thinking of him, and busy _moaning his name_. What exactly is _wrong_ in this picture? Did I have a weird dream or something? This is nuts…

I didn't get out until I was sure everyone was gone. I'm going crazy… If I'm not already. And I'm going to starve too if I can't make it to breakfast!

* * *

"Oi Padfoot," I heard as I entered the Great Hall. "Over here!" Recognizing James' voice – rarely heard anymore because he seems to rather spill his breath on snogging his Lily – I headed toward the Gryffindor table. Peter was stuffing his face, sitting between James and Remus, leaving me no other choice than to sit next to the latter.

"You've got to tell me all about last night in the next class!" James glared at Peter, eyes clearly saying 'if _he_ wasn't there I could hear it already', but it soon changed in a 'I can't do that to Lily though.' Sigh.

Concentrating on the large amount of food before me I tried to eat, emphasis on the word 'tried'. All that happened was that I was becoming strangely strong aware of the person sitting beside me and the warmth that was radiating of his body. It felt soft and safe, and somehow it made me memorize things I knew for sure had never happened… Am I getting delusional? If I'm not already anyway.

I closed my eyes, only to get a vision of a lake and a willow tree. Right… So I _am_ getting delusional. The scene quickly faded away and got replaced by a slender body I seemed to be holding and kissing. I saw blond hair and felt a familiar warmth pressed against me. The person moved its head up to face me, but just at that moment…

Remus grabbed hold of my arm and shook me. "Hey Padfoot, had a nice night yesterday ey? I've never seen you dreaming over a girl before." He grinned at me. It looked a bit forced. "Don't tell me you've found your Lily, please!"

"What, me? I'm not dreaming. And hey, it wouldn't be fair if one girl could get all of me while the rest has to watch, right? Wouldn't be fun anyway. I'm not that cruel Moony, you should know that." I grinned back, just as fake as he.

"The world goes on with or without you." His face still wore the grin, but his eyes told me a whole different story.

"With me it spins a lot faster. Don't get dizzy Moony, I don't feel like catching you when you fall today." With that I took the last sip of my pumpkin juice and left the Hall. Transfiguration classes next. _YAY_.

* * *

"Well? Spill it!"

"What, the juice? Are you getting insane Prongs?" I looked at him seriously. Transfigurating a dead frog into some kind of weird bubbly muggle 'soda' and back was harder than it sounded. That little dork of a Remus had already done it three times perfectly, so it couldn't possibly be _that_ hard, right?

"You know what I mean, spill it already! How was she?" James looked at me, curiosity written all over him. "You're off, was she that good?"

I only looked at Remus, who _again_ successfully transfigurated his frog in 'soda' and into a frog again. I silently wondered who could possibly be so inane to think we would get this stuff for our N.E.W.T.'s. Back to the basics, my ass! Not that I worried about them or something… They were still a fair few months away anyway.

"Earth to Padfoot… Hello!" James waved his hand before my face. He _always_ needs _full_ attention. What would he do if the whole world would actually totally ignore him for a day? Probably freak… Scary.

"Yes, I know what you meant. No, I'm not planning on telling you. No, she wasn't good, more headache-giving annoying." Thank Merlin we were having this period with Ravenclaw.

James just blinked. "O… kay… Does that mean topic closed?" Good boy.

"What about your mouth closed. And there's nothing worth saying anyway. I would dump her if we had something."

"That's what she thinks."

"Probably. If she could."

"Right…" He rolled his eyes. "You know, next week Lily and I…" I just stopped listening.

* * *

One hand cupping his face, my other tangling in his hair. His slid around my waist, caressing my back with slender fingers. His body was pressed against me, but still he tried to pull me closer.

I let myself fall back against the willow tree again, causing him to fall over. I laughed at his mad grin when he looked up, dark blond hair falling in his eyes. Sparkling brown eyes, laughing back. How'd he become so beautiful without me noticing? And how I wished to see him like this more often… Careless and free.

Kissing his full sweet lips again I let him lean against me, savouring his warmth and caressing his face. His eyelids were already half closed when I allowed myself to close my own. They say that if you cut of one of your senses, the others get stronger, and it's true. His body shivered on top of me when I let him deepen the kiss. He really seemed to enjoy being the leader instead of the follower.

As his kisses became more passionate mine became harder, more wanting and craving for more. With my hands sliding down his chest I felt the vibrations when he moaned softly. I felt his breathing and his heartbeat, both almost in unison to mine.

I let my hand slip under his clothing, wandering over his chest, only eliciting more moans. The skin was uneven and scarred; it felt strange under my hands, though not unpleasant. Those scars were just a part of him and I accepted them, but thinking of how they got there hurt me.

His lips left mine and he trailed them down my neck, hitting a sensitive spot and causing me to shiver. Warm lips were lingering on the place, eliciting moans from my side. His legs straddling me and my fingers were busy drawing patterns around his heart.

"Re… mus…"

* * *

"Hey Sirius… Hey! Class is finished, we have lunch." Someone whispered in my ear. Opening my eyes drowsily I wondered where I was.

"Finally, he's awake. How did you do that Moony, I think I tried for at least fifteen minutes! He's completely hopeless, I mean it."

James? Remus? …Class?

"He's either still sleepy, or someone used Oblivious on him. Oi Padfoot, lunch! C'mon, even Binns is gone already!"

Well, that says something. Double History of Magic? Makes sense that I fell asleep… But damn, I can't even remember how I got into the classroom! I walked out of the class, following the rest to the Great Hall. Lunch, the best invention ever. Well, besides cloning then…

At the moment I entered the Great Hall all the girls on the Hufflepuff table went quiet. Then that girl… Julie-something or whatever stood up and practically threw herself in my arms. Cloning seems an excellent idea sometimes… With some Polyjuice potion I'm sure I could get Peter a date right now.

"Hey there Julie-girl, what's the rush?" On the same moment I said it, I realised I made a big mistake… Shit. The girl clung to me and just giggled insanely.

"Erm… Julie? Shouldn't you have lunch right now?" More insane giggling was my answer. I decided to push her away. "Go sit at your own table now, I'm starving! Maybe I'll meet you later…" I grinned at her, watching her swoon. Popular? Me? What gave you that idea?

She slowly walked away towards her excitingly whispering girlfriends, hips swaying and happily grinning. "Did you hear that? He even has a pet name for me! And he wants to see me later!"

Mental note to self: dump her in public _as soon as possible_. It's really the only right thing to do if your psychical and mental health are in danger – not that I either care or actually have one, but you get the idea – is in a danger like this.

That leaves me with only one question… Who to pick now?

I leave my eyes to wander around the tables until they fall still on a nice looking 7th year Griffindor, with the name of Sandy Martins; from whom I only knew she was a muggleborn. She had shoulder-length sandy colored hair – a thing that made me wonder just how original her parents were. A friend of her noticed me staring in her direction and nudged her, probably whispering that the school hottie was checking her out.

She turned around so she could see me too, slightly blushing when I casually waved. Sitting down between James and Remus at our usual spots I kept watching her the whole time throughout lunch. She kept looking back, and her friends kept whispering.

I only wondered how long I would date her before dumping her. She didn't seemed as annoying and giggly as the others… My final conclusion: I'd give her two days. Most.

Because James was too busy with Lily, I told Remus about my choice. His eyes only darkened and he didn't say a thing.

Great, now you've upset him again you dork! Sigh. Just when did I become crazy enough to talk to myself?

I failed to see the dark rings forming under his eyes.

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I am SO HAPPY! Do you all even realise how happy you made me? xD HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY/bounces around/ LoL /tries to calm down and catch her breath/ REVIEW RESPOND TIME!

dragonlady 44: SURPRISE SURPRISE! xD you're right, Remmy would never do that... but we all know how perverted sirius is, ne?

Nightelf: this okay:P I already have 4 chapters written out... but it surprised me you guessed what I wanted to do. thanks though:D

And all the rest: THANK YOU AGAIN/can't say it enough times/

/hands out cookies/ You get more if you review:D /continues bouncing around her room happily/


	3. You Sure About That?

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

WOW. One word: WOW. REVIEWS. AMOUNT. WOW. THANK YOU. And you know, at the time I'm typing this out it's full moon. Well, it was when I begun… Cool ne/gets jucky pulp-fruit thrown at her/ No…? Okay, I'll shut up now. :X /pouts/

**Warning: this is SLASH** and this is the last time I bother you with that warning. :P If you don't know by now… Damn! Go ask Potter for his glasses or something and read again. :P Okay that was my 'I-luv-Draco' part talking. xD

_Disclaimer: No own, yada yada yada, only the plot, you know the drill. Do I still have to bother you with it? And oh yeah, I 'borrowed' some pieces of lyrics for the first parts this time. I'll probably do that more in the next chapters so… Just saying._

Is there anyone who actually reads this part? 0.o

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**Chapter 3**

**You Sure About That?

* * *

**

_You're making me whole,_

_the feeling is beautiful._

_You're cheering me up _

_when I'm feeling down._

_You've touched my soul,_

_I hope the feeling is mutual._

_It's the truth,_

_no matter how crazy it might sound.

* * *

_

Lunch went by and so did classes. It turned out that Sandy had most of her classes with me, and several times I saw her glancing over. At the 3rd time I winked at her, then amused myself with watching her blushing furiously.

Our last class was Herbology with Hufflepuff. Being partnered together with Sandy, I just began flirting with her, getting murderous and jealous looks from Julie-something's corner. I decided to take the whole thing to a higher level, just enough to make it perfectly clear that 'it' was over. Not that there was an 'it', like in a bonding or relationship, and as clear as I could possibly make it to a dense love-blinded Hufflepuff.

When class was almost over, I whispered some sweet little nothings in Sandy's ear, like I do with every girl. How pretty she is, how I love her hair, her eyes, her body… The usual stuff. I heard the bell ring loudly, saying that this wonderful day of school was finally over. Packing my stuff, I held one eye on Sandy and one on Julie. The latter was shooting jealous glances my way. Perfect.

Walking out of the greenhouse I took Sandy's hand in mine, trying to ignore her blushing and giggling. Outside I kissed her roughly on the mouth, pushing her against the glass wall, making sure I had all the attention. I knew people were watching and I acted like it.

After two minutes of full force snogging the girl had to breathe. Pity, she was quite good. With an amused grin I watched Julie running away, crying, sobbing and screaming. Another heartbroken lovesick Hufflepuff, I must be the reason for at least 85 percent of them.

With a last wink directed to Sandy I left towards the Gryffindor tower with James by my side, who had been watching the whole thing just as amused as I. We exchanged a grin and took off, laughing. Life can be wonderful sometimes.

* * *

"So I winked at her and Julie just turned purple from pure jealousy! You should've seen it Moony, too bad you had Arithmancy… Oh well. And when class was over I snogged the hell out of her 'cause I knew Julie was watching. She ran away crying and sobbing – you saw, right James? I swear, she was going to explode! She got all red and puffy and-"

"Sirius, stop." Remus.

"What?" I looked up, confused. "Why?"

Remus, James, Peter and I were sitting in the common room. It wasn't very crowded; most were outside enjoying the nice weather, so the big chairs by the fireplace were all ours.

"Because we've only heard it about forty times yet." James.

"Ha-ha, funny. But you've got to admit, it was hilarious!" I grinned.

"Yeah, that's what you think…" Remus muttered.

"Wh-what?" I whispered. Somehow my heart managed to skip a beat. Err…?

"I'm feeling sorry for those girls. Who's the new one anyway? The other 'she' you were talking about." He looked up from his book, brown eyes empty.

"Err… Well, she's a Griffindor, same year… Sandy Martins, muggleborn. That's all I know. Sandy colored hair, brown eyes, quite pretty."

"Good for you." He looked down and continued reading.

"Oh c'mon Moony, don't be so serious! It's all a game, life is a game!" James grinned widely. Yeah right, until he sees his sweet Lily…

The portrait hole opened and Lily appeared, walking our way calmly. As soon as James saw her he lost all his attention and interest for us and was totally absorbed by his girlfriend. Life's a game… Stuff it Prongs!

"Till there the 'life's a game' ey Prongs? …Prongs?" A muffled sound. I didn't want to risk a look. Get a room Prongs! And use your own bed!

"Gotta go guys… See y'all at dinner 'k?" he said, a little to quickly. Not waiting for an answer he stood up and practically ran away, Lily following him closely behind. I still wonder how exactly those two got from hating each other to loving each other to death… Now I think about it, a cover-up for murder?

"Wow." The first word Peter said today. Probably never seen a make-out session before. And that's my cue to a 'wow'. Not out loud though. That I don't really like the guy doesn't mean I need to embarrass him all the time. I'm nice; I just leave that part to James.

"Anyone in for chess?"

Remus looked up again and nodded, seemingly grateful for a pause. After five minutes I heard a soft cough.

"Erm guys, I'm going up to the dorm. I have Charms homework." Peter coughed again, uncomfortable with the thought of him being on his own. "See you both at dinner."

Remus mumbled a 'yeah, okay, bye' and I only nodded curtly, my whole attention to the game. If I moved that piece there I would win…

"Checkmate!" I grinned; satisfied I'd won the first game. As if I ever lost. "Care for a second game, Moony?"

He merely shrugged. "Why not," was his answer. "Not that I've got a chance to win or something… You're just too good Padfoot, how come you always beat me on everything?" Brown eyes hollow, a faint smiles trying to hold on to his lips… How come I always end up hurting him?

"I'm not better than you Remus, and you of all people should know we all have our strong and weak points." I searched for his eyes. "You are way more intelligent, you're calm and nice and not hot-tempered-"

"I'm book smart, a studious ass, boring and no fun-"

"Moony, stop that!" I grabbed his hand and tightly squeezed it. "Don't take yourself down like that. You are you, I am me and there's nothing we can do about that!" I loosened the grip on his hand and looked him in the eyes. "I'm your friend, I care about you. Don't act like that 'k?"

A small smile spread across his face, from his full rosy lips to his hazel eyes. It pleased me to see him this way. I smiled back.

"Don't want to see you hurt," I said softly.

"Thanks Padfoot." His eyes shone. "Second game then?" I nodded. I didn't realised I had been holding his hand the whole time until he moved it. Somehow I immediately missed his warmth.

* * *

Two hours later I sat at the large dinner table in the Great Hall, with Remus on my right and James on my left. Peter was stuffing his face again at the end of the row.

"Sirius?" Remus tapped my arm to get my attention. "Tomorrow night it's full moon again." He looked scared and tired, already exhausted by the night through only thinking about it. His eyes had dark rings around them and I noticed he looked even paler then usual.

I felt his pain and fear for what to come, something that just didn't wore off though he should be 'used to it' by now. After all those years… And too many of them without us, the Marauders, his friends. But still I couldn't help finding it strangely exciting to have him all for myself a whole night, though in animagus form. I just love being Padfoot.

"We're there for you Moony. Always." I smiled, almost grinned, causing him to smile too. Merlin I just love that smile…

"At ten we'll go?"

"Yeah, sounds good enough. C'mon Moony, eat something now." His eyes seemed to shine. Yes Remmi, I'm there for you, always.

The rest of the dinner past in silence between me and Remus, a comfortable and peaceful silence. Every time he caught me looking at him he smiled. And every time I smiled back.

When it was over we walked away, and I noticed the glares a great deal of the Hufflepuff girls shot me. So they all knew… I would almost feel sorry for the girl. NOT. Instead I walked over to Sandy, whose friends began giggling excitingly when they saw me.

"Hey girls," I greeted them, giving them my famous 'charming smile.' Girls always fell for that one. I turned my attention to Sandy. "Got something to do tonight?"

"Err… Yeah, I…" One of her friends kicked her. "Erm… I mean… Homework can wait."

"I'll see you at eight tonight in the Astronomy Tower." I walked away casually, then briefly looking over my shoulder to check her reaction. She was blushing furiously and her friends were beaming at her, seemingly more excited and happy than she was. Making homework when she could date me? Somehow it awfully much reminded me of Remus.

* * *

At eight I looked at the clock, only leaning back further against the pillows on my bed. Too early to leave yet… Didn't want to seem eager for a shag.

The last hour I had spent in the dorm, the first half listening to James's rambling about 'his sweet Lily' and the second half on being tutored by Remus. He'd just left to go to the library and the silence of being alone was really just too precious to break.

After ten minutes I stood up anyway, bored and now craving for some noise. Walking through the corridors I didn't see many people, I seemed to be the only one wanting to wander around at this time of the day.

A few minutes later I stood before the door of the Astronomy Tower, a stylish amount of at least fifteen minutes late. Opening the door soundlessly I peeked in, seeing the girl sitting in the window, her body seemingly swaying to the music of some unheard melody. A book lay open on her lap, but she wasn't reading. She was staring at the night sky with the white, almost full moon as a centrepiece.

"Tomorrow it's full moon." She didn't even look my way when I entered the room.

"I know," was her quiet reply. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I sat down next to her. "Beautiful. Makes me think of someone," I added quietly.

"Who?" She looked at me.

"Re- I mean… You. It makes me think of you." I smiled my most charming smile, praying it would work. She smiled back, pink lips softly curved.

"You're not telling me the truth."

"Yes, I am, honest. It reminds me of someone with light brown hair, warm brown eyes and always reading books." I glanced at her lap. "That's the truth."

A short silence.

"I believe you." She smiled again and turned away from me. "Though I also believe it's not me you're describing."

Silence.

"What does it make you think about?" I said, in a try to change the subject to safer grounds.

"Someone. Someone… I know." She suddenly seemed close on the verge of crying.

"'Tis okay," I mumbled when she lay her head on my shoulder, lightly shaking. This hadn't exactly been my idea of a date… Not that I really cared, all my thought-trails ended with Remus somehow sooner or later anyway. And somehow imagining that he was leaning against me while we were looking at the almost full moon was… nice. Safe.

"Come on, let's go back to the common room, 'k?" She only nodded and followed quietly, dried tears on her face.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Typically Sirius, first snogging a girl and half a day later asking her on a date. Tsk tsk tsk The date should always come first… hehe What is he trying to proof/author grins evilly/

Btw, anyone knows what's with the AM PM thing? I dun have that here in Europe so… Help me out here please/dies/

Wow I'm uh… /anime sweatdrop/ Late… You dun mind do u/gets killed again/ SORRY! School is positively killing me and I have a Saturday job, so there's not much time left to type… But to make you all a lil happier: I've written out till chapter 6 on paper now/does happy dance/ Pray that I get fired if you want me to update sooner hehehe But I'm saving money for a scanner so… :D DA here I come! LoL Btw, did you notice I updated a lot sooner when I didn't have Internet access? Quite freaky actually… Blegh, just coz I had nothing better to do then type when I was home! ;o;

REVIEW RESPOND TIME! AGAIN, THANK YOU ALL WHO REVIEWED FOR THE GREAT ehm… yeah… REVIEWS! LoL /big group hug/ I still can't believe you love it so much… /stares in awe at reviews/

**Romulus901**: erm… I got your review 2 weeks too late/anime sweatdrop/ plz dun kill/begs/

**Kitty-N2**: could you translate the first part/is confused/ I understand you think it's genius, you want me to continue, you like the situations, I brought Sirius' personality out good… YAY! I think I know Spanish! Or whatever the language was… /dies/ anyway, thnx for at least saying _something_ in English hehe

**Grimy Grunhilda Grunt**: well, English is not my native language and I'm still young, so I'm doing this all with what I learn from school and the TV… hehehe thnx for pointing it out though, I'll try to make sure it won't happen again. If so, just say so :)

Till next time… Leave a review when you go! Pwetty please/puppy dog eyes/


	4. I Feel It In Your Touch

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

Chapter 4… This story is going quick! But the updating isn't… /anime sweatdrop/ Oopz… hehe Just blame school! They give me so much homework it should be illegal! It's lethal already… /dies from exhaustion/ AND I have a saturday job since 3 weeks. AND I'm ill… /coughs/ So… yeah… Slow updating… /gets killed by readers/ Oh, and don't forget the FF upgrading/pissed/ So proud to have the chapter finished, is the DM disabled! ARGH!

Anywho, thank you for all those reviews/does happy dance/

Btw, the lil poetry pieces can be Siri's POV too. :) Just that you know, they say a lot about what's going to happen to the story-line! (I think… LoL)

_Disclaimer: for the last /beep beep beep beep/ time… NO OWN/wanders off to some lonely corner and sobs: "No Draco, no Harry, no Remmi, no Siri… Not even Ron or Hermione… What kinda loser am I!"/_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 4**

**I Feel It In Your Touch

* * *

**

_You never know when love,_

_comes knocking at your door,_

_leaves you dreaming 'bout more. _

_When I feel your touch I just know it for sure,_

_it's written in the stars._

_Though love can make so blind,_

_I see you as who you are_

_in moonlight and star shine.

* * *

_

Her body was shaking lightly and her hand was warm in mine. I lost all my feeling for time, but when we entered the common room it was empty and so I assumed it was late. It was silent and dark inside.

"Sandy." I looked at her face. She looked horrible, exhausted. "Go get some sleep, you look hell."

"Always putting it bluntly, aren't you Sirius?" She smiled wearily. "But I feel like it, so I probably look like it too… Goodnight." She kissed me on the cheek, shyly, then turned around and walked into her dorm. Just before opening the door, she stopped. "Thanks for the nice night. You're different than they think." The door was closed behind her without sound.

* * *

When I entered my dorm it seemed everyone was asleep. Most curtains around the beds were closed, only two were still open. Mine and Remus's. He was laying on his back on the big four-poster bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

I walked over to my bed and sat down. My bed was right next to Remus's one on the left and James's on my right. I closed my curtains, only leaving them open to the left so I could still see Remus, staring into space.

"You're awake late."

"I could say the same for you," he stated, not moving.

"I had a date, you know that." I leaned back on the bed, laying down.

"No, I didn't." He sat up, watching me. "I seemingly lived in the illusion that we would spend tonight studying together, but apparently I was wrong." He paused. "I searched for you, you know that? I've waited for you."

"I'm sorry Moony, I guess I should've told you, but I thought-"

He cut me off harshly. "You think so much. Talk for a change. Maybe it helps." He paused again and sighed. "I'm sorry Padfoot, it's just… the full moon, that's all… I just honestly thought we would spend the night together," he mumbled, looking down at the floor.

"Don't apologise, I didn't knew it meant so much for you. You know my friends always come before girls right? If you need me I'm there, promise." My voice was soft in an attempt to calm him, but it only worked the other way around.

"That's just it! I'm 'just a friend'! I bet James is more important to you then I am!"

"Remmi there are people sleeping here!" I sprung up and grabbed his wrists, forcing him down on his bed. "Quiet. Now."

"I just want to be more for you…" His eyes grew watery. "I've never had a best friend before in my life…" A lonely tear leaked out of the corner of his eye.

"'Tis okay," I whispered softly while loosening my grip. He sat up and I put my arms around his shoulders loosely, in a safe embrace. "I'd love to give it a try." I smiled.

"Mean that?" He looked up at me.

"Yup. Best friends." He smiled back at me, then lay his head on my shoulder like Sandy had only a few hours ago. It felt strangely right.

I leaned back on the bed, Remus still in my arms. His head slid of my shoulder on my heart, and the weight of his body on mine just felt… Okay. Nice. Good. Great. My heart began beating like crazy and I was sure he felt, or maybe even heard it. My hand slid through his silky soft hair, stroking it and playing with the strands.

He shifted in my arms, curling up and going from tense to relaxed. I moved closer to him, also curling up a bit. I kept playing with his hair while my other hand traced the skin on his face and neck. He had his eyes closed, he looked so peaceful…

As in a reflex I softly let my lips brush over the traces of dried salty tears. His eyelids fluttered and he moaned softly in response. Closing my eyes as my lips sought his I pulled him closer against me, needing and craving for his warmth. My left hand was still in his hair; my right traced his jaw line. Our lips collided in a kiss, first soft and sweet, then more passion filled and aggressive. It turned from slow to quick, then back to slow and changing again, tongues moving as in a wild dance.

My lips left his for a few seconds, so we could both breathe. He gasped when I attacked his neck right away, kissing it and softly licking. His gasp seemed like an invitation, a signal for me to linger on the place, caressing the place with my tongue before slowly taking my trail down to his collarbone. Till my big disappointment I couldn't go any further there, because his clothing was in the way. Now what to do about that…

I let my hands slip under his sweater, tracing the scars on his chest. I pulled it up, first making his bare abdomen visible, then his whole chest. My tongue flicked around his bellybutton, eliciting soft groans from him. I laid on top of him and felt his shifting in position when I grabbed his wand and muttered a quick Silencio-charm.

As soon as my lips reached his nipples his hands lost grip on his wand, letting it fall out of his grip. My teeth were grazing the skin around, only causing him to moan louder and arching his body up slightly. I could feel his nipples getting hard under my touches and simple caresses.

I crawled up, leaning over him and dipping in, letting our lips touch again. I only left them to pull his sweater over his head and to let him get some oxygen. While throwing the – now so useless – piece of clothing aside, I quickly closed the curtains around the bed, joining a simple locking spell with the Silencio, just for safety's sake. Didn't want to get caught or interrupted now…

Remus had seemingly decided we had been 'parted' for long enough, because he pulled me down on him rather roughly, right into another kiss. It was deep and wild, wet and zealous. His hands were all over me, beginning to roam my body just like I'd roamed his only minutes before, slipping under my robes and tugging at them to get them off. I gladly helped him with that task, smiling down on him when it was done. My one hand lay on his heart, the other traced the outline of his lips, all red from my biting.

"Please don't tell me this is only 'cause of the full moon Remmi, please…" I whispered, my voice practically begging.

He shook his head fervently. "No… No, no it's not! Siri…"

I just stroked a strand of hair out of his eyes, caressing it like I had done to every part of his body that I had touched till now. His soft hazel were so beautiful… He was so beautiful… So gorgeous and perfect… I leaned in and let my lips brush his again, and again, and again, and again, and again…

"Siri… Oh my god, Siri… Sirius!"

* * *

"Sirius! Sirius! Padfoot, wake up! 

"Oh my… Merlin he's drooling on his pillow! I swear, he's snogging his pillow in his sleep!"

"Sirius, wake up! C'mon, it's late! Sirius!"

"Oh leave it, it's Friday, he can do without breakfast for a day."

Footsteps and a door opening and closing.

"You could at least wait for me…" someone muttered under his breath. "Hey Padfoot, wake up already!" A hand grabbed my arm and shook me.

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking against the light. Everything was blurred. I shifted, missing something warm. I grabbed the hand a softly caressed it, feeling long thin fingers and soft scarred skin.

"Finally, you're awa- Sirius, what the heck do you think you're doing?" The warmth in my hand fell away again.

Opening my eyes fully now I looked around, the first thing I saw being a very flustered Remus. The dorm was empty, only we were still left. I sat up in the bed, causing my blanket to fall down and reveal my bare chest. He turned only redder and looked away.

"Breakfast's almost over, you want to eat or what? If so, go dress now, I'll wait for you in the common room." After that hastily spoken message he was gone.

"Okay…" Probably all just the full moon. I shook my head and got up out of bed, showering and getting dressed in five minutes. Yeah, the full moon, no doubt.

Another five minutes later I walked into the Great Hall at the side of still slightly flustered Remus. James was waving, motioning us to sit down where they sat – they meaning Lily, himself and Peter. We both sat down at their sides, me on James's right and Remus next to that.

"Hey Padfoot, Moony, finally down." James grinned. "Sirius, have you been drinking last night? You could've at least been so nice to give me my share in alcohol, you know."

Drinking?

"Drinking? Why?" I grabbed some pumpkin juice.

"You couldn't wake up, you look like suffer a hangover and you were snogging your pillow."

I was… WHAT? I promptly choked. "Hey, say _what_? I haven't been drinking, Prongs!" I lowered my voice carefully. "And shut up about the pillow-snog-thing, I can't remember. If anyone hears your fucked up little fantasies…"

"Okay, okay, easy man! But really, it looked damn funny!" He put up his hands in mock surrender and grinned again. "Someone had a lack of action last night?" he continued, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, say that again… Want to know my night? We met, we looked at the moon, we _talked_, she cried, we walked back and I brought her to her dorm. And guess what, I still got a goodnight kiss. _On the cheek_."

"Where…?"

"Astronomy Tower."

"It's official, you're losing your touch," he stated. "But c'mon, you had the whole damn school already."

"Oh shut up." I suppressed the urge to hit him.

* * *

Time passed quickly. Maybe too quick. The rest of my day was filled with boring classes, annoying teachers, crazy lovesick Hufflepuffs, and vicious Slytherins. Thank Merlin it's Friday! 

But tonight… Tonight things would get rough. The full moon. It was there; ready to show itself when the darkness would fall. And it would, in a few hours already. Finally.

I looked at my sides. James was sleeping peacefully with a small smile on his face. Probably dreaming of Lily again, as always. A bed further Peter had his curtains closed.

On my other side I saw Remus. His eyes lay deeper in his face then usual, dark rings surrounding them. He was sleeping, but his body was tense. He rolled around in his bed, seemingly having a nightmare.

We all needed our sleep, because tonight we wouldn't have the chance to. We needed the rest. I was the only one still awake.

I couldn't bear watching Remus shift in his sleep all the time. Why couldn't he just get some rest, some peace? I stood up, sitting down at his side, grabbing his hand and whispering soothing words. He calmed down, stopped moving so nervously.

A few minutes later I loosened my grip, slowly letting go and standing up. Our hands lost contact. Immediately he began shifting again, tossing and turning, wildly moving. With the first contact he relaxed again, and then refused to let go anymore. I sat down again and just leaned back against the bed, closing my eyes and slowly falling asleep, hands entwined.

He needed his peace.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Oh Sirius, you naughty, naughty boy! xD hehehe Got Remmi blushing… LoL And well, how you liked that ending ey? It's finally moving into reality… I think that was it for humor mostly I guess. Next chapter: the lethal moonlight. Argh! Drama time… X.x

Okay, review respond time/does group-hug/ THANKS YA'LL! xD hehe Anywayz…

**Grand-Illusion**: err… WOW. Thanks/blushes/

**Queequegg**: thank you thank you thank you/glomps you/ yes that was what I wanted to know! and I'm glad that you liked you first SBRL story :D why those expectations? coz of the ending of ch1? xD hehe

**Grimy Grunhilda Grunt**: to be honest: I have no idea. Somehow he likes Sandy I guess… she makes him think of Remmi! hehe :D and he never liked Julie in first place xD yes I felt cruel to her… LoL!

Okay, so I'm changing my requests. I get so many reviews that only say 'Wow! Tis gr8! Continue, update update! Me lovez!' I can't deny I'm also one of that sort of reviewers… But hey only if I'm lazy! (or just can't think of something sane to say coz my brain is fucked up from excitement) So I wanted to ask you, my dear readers and reviewers… To finally say just WHAT you liked so much:D **What did you liked best, what part did you hated, have you got any tips so I might improve my skills?** I'll love u guys forever if you do/grins/ AND… /dumdumdum/ _who does gets **2 **cookies_! xD Ain't life wonderful? Hehehe

**Well, review/comment & criticize please!**


	5. Moonlight, Starshine

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

MIAUW! hehehe I'm hyper today… So I'm trying to type but it's hard… :( wheeeeeeehhh! Listening my new cd: Collision Course from Jay-Z ft Linkin Park :D

Random rambling: OMG you know those Boomerang Cards, right? I just saw a real funny one in the library! xD There's a mother standing next to her son and she's yelling at him: _"I put you on ballet lessons, bought you dolls to play with and even let you do my hair. And now you're telling me you're STRAIGHT?"_ LoL I laughed so hard… I was LMAO and the whole library was like "SSSSH!" hehehe You gotta love… xD

ANYWAY: no disclaimer; review responds are at the end (thank you guys!); and lets get this started! Beware for some drama now…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 5**

**Moonlight, Starshine

* * *

**

_Look at the moon,_

_imaging the sunshine,_

_capture the light _

_and the warmth. _

_Feel the rain fall_

_from cold blue sky,_

_the rainbow's showing off_

_my true colours.

* * *

_

I woke up from my alarm clock at half past nine that evening. My back ached from falling asleep in a sitting position, but I didn't really care. I was going into animagus form again in less then an hour! If it weren't so painful for Remus I would be looking forward to it.

I looked at my side. Remus was still sleeping, curled up as a foetus. He still held my hand in his and it was like he was clinging to it. Did he need a hold on so badly? I silently promised myself I would always be there for him. His hand was warm and soft and I didn't want to let go of him, but I had to. I had to if I wanted to wake up the others, warning them that it was time to leave.

I softly touched his face, a thing that seemed to make him smile. I tried not to think about how painful the transformation would be and that he probably wouldn't smile anymore for the next twelve hours. The very thought of him in pain made my heart ache and my stomach twist. Life's not fair… Deciding I would wake him up last didn't take me long. I stood up from the bed, walking over to James's.

"Hey Prongs, wake up!" He only rolled over and mumbled something terribly much resembling "Oh Lily, yes!" I _so_ do not want to know his dream…

"Prongs!" I grabbed his arm and practically pulled him out of his bed. Something I'd rather _not_ noticed told me he was in need of a nice cold shower… Badly. But there wasn't enough time and it would make too much noise. Though having it poking in my back while we would be running to the Whomping Willow under a way too small for 4 persons invisibility cloak didn't seemed that brilliant of an idea either… Sigh, what I all do for my friends… Yuck.

"James! Wake up! It's nine forty-five!" I looked down at the messy heap of human at my feet.

"Ow, easy! That hurts you know!" He stood up and rubbed his head with a painful face.

"Shut up and get a cold shower. Stop thinking of Lily so much." He looked down and reddened. "I'll wake Wormtail and Moony, when you're finished get the cloak. And don't make too much noise."

"Yes sir, got it," he mumbled and mock saluted, then retreated to the bathroom for some 'private time'. Sigh. If I was quick we still made it before the transformation… We needed to hurry.

"Hey Wormtail, wake up! It's nine fifty, come on!" I pulled the curtains open, revealing something rather much resembling a snoring pig. How he got in the Marauders, I'll never know. He just kept stalking us for long enough so we got used to him, I guess. Enigma solved? I don't think so.

He sat up, watery eyes half closed from sleep. He's so disgusting. "What…?"

"Moony."

"Oh." He blinked. That was all? An 'oh'? Damn it, how could he ever forget!

From all the noise Remus was already awake. He looked pure hell, totally tired out though he'd just woken up. Damn his nightmares! Someone would probably have to carry him to the Shrieking Shack… He didn't seem strong enough to walk the whole way. Maybe he would make it to the Whomping Willow, but…

"You okay Moony? Need help?" He seemed to struggle with his clothes. I hadn't even changed before going to sleep, so I was all ready.

"I'm okay." Yeah right and I'm a Slytherin. You can't even keep your eyes open.

"No you're not, let me help." I sat down next to him on the bed again. Though his earlier protests he allowed me to help to button up his shirt. His hands were shaking like crazy; no way he could've done it by himself.

"You think you can walk?"

"I'm not dead Padfoot, just tired."

"We could carry you. You should save all your strength for the transformation." I ignored his protests. "Come on, the others are ready," I smiled.

He smiled back. "Thanks. But can I just lean on you? I can walk."

"Sure. Whatever you want." I stood up. "James? Had your cold shower mate?" He only glared at me. I couldn't help but grin back. Remus chuckled lightly behind my back.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later we stood before the Whomping Willow. The walk had taken longer then we'd thought, because halfway through Remus had collapsed. We had no other choice then to carry him the rest of the way. I thought he would be heavy, but he was surprisingly light. Shockingly light even.

Peter turned animagus first, pressing on a little spot on the Willow. The branches stopped moving and the whole tree froze, making it possible for us to pass safely and enter. When James, who was carrying Remus, and I were inside and already on our way to the Shrieking Shack, Wormtail 'unfroze' the Willow again. When he followed us it was like nothing had ever happened.

The last few minutes we were walking to the Shack, Remus insisted on walking on his own again. Three steps later he almost fell down again, so I picked him up and carried him, ignoring his weak protests for the second time that evening. James walked behind me, carrying the cloak with Wormtail on top of it.

We walked into the Shack, silent and all knowing what would happen. Remus had fainted in my arms from pure exhaustion, all I could do was lay him on the improvised 'bed' of leaves and wait. Wait till the transformation would begin. I only prayed the pain wouldn't be too much to bear.

As he let out the first scream James and I turned into our animagus forms. Padfoot howled and I cried. Why him? Why Remus? I looked away, heart aching. I saw Prongs and Wormtail doing the same.

* * *

_PADFOOT POV_

_My mate was back. He screamed. I howled. _Full moon_. I longed to be outside, go outside. This place was choking me, suffocating me. Too small. Dark._

_I barked at him. He howled. He wanted to get out too. To leave this dark place and breathe in the fresh air. To look at the moon and howl. Be free._

Moony_. Come._

_I knew the way. I knew how to get out. I knew where I wanted to go. The forest._

_Prongs lay down in a corner, Wormtail seemed asleep. Wake up! Wake up! Come out and play!_

_Moony crawled up and shook his head. _Pain_. He crawled up and nudged Prongs with his nose. Prongs stood up and looked down. Don't you want to get out and play?_

_We left the room, the dark was gone. The moon lighted and guided us._ Forbidden Forest. _But not for us._

_Moony kept running and jumping all the way, I just followed. He shouldn't be left alone. Prongs walked behind us in a much slower tempo. Saving energy, saving strength. I didn't._

_We played. We ran around and fought and discovered. _Time_. Time? We ran. Moony circled around me all the time. I remember: _tire him out.

_Trees. Trees all around us. Forbidden Forest. Freedom. Ultimate freedom. No rules, just_ us_. I stopped running to howl at the moon. He looked at me, then did the same. The shared sound echoed through the forest. Then we started our games again, leaving the other far behind in a race._

Speed. Freedom. Victory.

_Colours. I missed the colours. Everything was just dark. I saw the shadows fleeing to safety. We were there. We were dangerous, we were _one.

_Our blood mixed when he bit me, and I bit back. My teeth sank in his flesh and I could taste it. We were one. One creature, created by the full moon. And it was all just a game._

_It began raining and the others sought shelter. They went back the Shack to rest. We stayed behind; fighting, playing._ One._ I was soaked and didn't even care. Too much energy._

_Silence. Silence everywhere. All the animals seemed gone. Alone._ Us. _One. Finally, again. The rain never stops. Never stops till the dark fades._

_Never stopped till the dark faded. Faded from black into shades of grey and shiny whites. Morning. The moon just slowly faded away._

_He howled.

* * *

_

I heard his screams of pain when he transformed back. His body slowly became human again, lean and slender, but also bloodstained and wounded. As I transformed back from animagus form into my own human self again I refused to see the red.

But I couldn't refuse him. How he lay there, helpless. Exhausted, and not even protected by proper clothing. Most of it was in the Shack, but the little we had let him keep on was torn apart and dirty from the mud.

He moaned softly, hopeless. He couldn't move from the pain, so walking was no option. I decided on doing the only right thing to do: picking him up and carrying him back to the Shack. Just how he'd come.

I didn't noticed I was bleeding too till our blood mixed together. He held on to me with all the power he'd left, which wasn't much. And we still had a long way to go.

Halfway he fainted in my arms, head leaning against my heart. We met Prongs there not much later; Peter was on guard back in the Shack. I lay Remus on Prongs's back, and walked next to them, silent. Prongs's eyes held some kind of knowing look in them that almost scared me, if he wouldn't be still animagus I would be sure he'd grinned.

"_What?"_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A/N: hehehe Prongs is not as dense as he usually seems! xD LoL okay, first: sorry for my sucky attempt on writing a dogs POV! I can't really place myself into animals, so I kinda just made everything shorter… Like thoughts and all. Hope it's okay:) _(edit: I found out that animagus kinda keep their mind while being in their animal form, so I think this should be okay… I think that Sirius would find it awesome to just let himself go like that, and being able to do so when being a dog.)_

Wow, are you guys afraid that I'll kill you if you say nothing constructive in your review? xD Coz I only got 3! Not that I mind, as long as everyone has fun I'm fine with it. /does cute eyes/

**java**: patience is the magic word… hehe /gives cookies/ btw, you're drooling :P

**Grand-Illusion**: w00t! it worked! LoL that about the dreams was the whole point :P I thought it would be fun to get you all hyped up about something that only happens in Sirius' pervy mind. xD and I did separate it right/looks dumb/ and ty for the room/roam thingy… /blushes/ not my native language, and sadly I can't even spell Dutch (which IS my native language) right all the time… /dies/ x.X;

**orangeaura868**: I'm trying to get a beta, thanks for the tip :) I'll do! thanks!

Please comment & critic:D


	6. Dream Catcher

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

Pfew, this took me a long time to get out ne/bricks fly to head, ducks and still gets hit/ Yes, I know, I know! But I was so busy with 'Mistletoe Trouble'… It's so crazy. xD This fic is more on the serious side… And it has a plot, another big difference. :P And school has been killing me for the past few months… Exams and stuff ya know… Almost end of the year now, thank God/dies/ But I won't keep you waiting any longer, on with the fic!

PS. Sorry for the ending, but I had to! You won't see #insert-name# again after this I think. (no, I'm not spoiling the name yet :P nya nya nya!)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter 6**

**Dream Catcher

* * *

**

_Dream catcher_

_let me sleep,_

'_cause anyway all I do _

_is dreaming of you._

_Realise_

_that as we speak,_

_my heart and mind are_

_there with you forever.

* * *

_

Back in the Shack, everything was ready. Miss Pomfrey knew the time we – well, Remus – would usually come back. We soon found out she always came two times: once before he would be back, to set the things ready; and once when he was back, to take care of his wounds. She would wash them and heal them, then let him alone again in the Shack, trusting he could get back to the castle safely and unnoticed. Only when he clearly wasn't able to walk she stayed with him.

We weren't intending on breaking the ritual, so we just made sure there was always at least one person with Remus and one in the Shack. If the nurse came the one in the Shack could hide under the invisibility cloak and afterwards warn the others. Most of the time Prongs and I were the ones staying with Remus, leaving Peter to guard the Shack. No one would notice Wormtail anyway.

This time it wasn't much different. Peter warned us she'd just left, and we sneaked in. First we lay Remus on the 'bed' of leaves, then crawled in a far off corner and huddled together under the cloak. A few minutes later Pomfrey came back. Like some kind of miracle she stayed calm, even though Remus's body was bloody and his clothing, what was left of it, torn.

She seemed young, maybe twenty-five or not much more, but the way she treated the wounds so carefully was good. I watched her hands slowly getting bloodstained, with our blood, I just as slowly realised. Us. Remus and me. I looked down at my own clothes. Red. Shit.

Her hands undressed him, though he was barely even wearing anything. His skin was quite white, not tanned like James's or mine. I should take him outside more, that always being inside in the library isn't good…

The scars seemingly lit up when she smeared a strangely coloured creamlike substance on his bare chest and other places where he was scarred. He always had to keep using it for several days; we often enough had to help him with it. It was to 'heal the wounds and soften the scar tissue', he always explained to us.

The whole time she didn't speak one single word, probably thinking he couldn't hear her anyway. He appeared to be asleep, but sometimes moaned softly when she touched a painful scar. I wanted to scream those times. It was like I felt his pain, was marked, just as he. But my scars aren't physical. They're mental. And the persons who caused them lethal.

Finally she was gone. We decided that one of us would stay behind in the Shack with Remus to keep an eye on him while he rested, and a game of 'rock, paper, scissors' later I was that one. James and Peter left, and the Us returned.

Us. The thought did me good somehow. I sat next to him on the bed and fell asleep.

* * *

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was Remus's warm body against mine, curled up. I lay on the bed, next to him, not even knowing how long I had been laying there. How long had I slept? Was it still day? Or maybe already night again?

I didn't want to wake him up, I didn't know if he was still asleep. So I closed my eyes again and waited, losing all feeling for time.

Maybe it was minutes, hours, or only seconds later that I opened my eyes again. He'd crawled in my arms and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"You awake Moony?"

"Yeah." He didn't move.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." A pause. "Last night." A longer silence. "Us," he whispered the last word.

Long silence. Just why was my heart beating so damn quickly? This shouldn't happen, this shouldn't be happening!

"Us?" My voice sounded slightly hoarse. I felt his body pressed against mine, tightly. And swallowed. Not happening, not happening, not happening… Dream, dream- Shit. Nightmare! Nightmare!

"Us. The Marauders. I never really said thank you, did I. You were all just there… You can't believe how relieved I was to find out that being a werewolf didn't make me an outcast to you."

Silence.

Breathe… Swallow and breathe… Just keep breathing…

"I never really had friends. I never really wanted to tell them what I was, just afraid that they would leave me if they knew. But my parents apparently found it necessary to explain to them just what I had to go through every full moon. After that I lost my 'friends' and we moved to the other side of the country. Or just to another."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled, just to let him know I was listening. He shifted, only to move in a more comfortable position in my arms. Is it so hot in here or is it just me?

"Thank you for staying Siri… You're all so great. All a real support. It's so hard to feel the pain sometimes…"

"Shh." I felt his salty tears sting in my fresh wounds, but I didn't care. My only thought was to make him feel better. Like real friends do. Like I should do. Tried to.

I softly rocked him like a baby in my arms, almost shushing him to sleep again. I played with his hair and didn't even notice it. Safe… Just make him feel safe… And it felt so right…

"It's okay Rem. Everything is alright." I dried his tears and stood up, then picked him up. "I'll carry you to the Whomping Willow. You gotta walk the rest yourself."

"Can I just lean on you?"

"Sure."

A bright smile lit up his face, almost making my heart burst. "Come on, I'm starving," I grinned. That smile was way too contagious.

* * *

I stared at the ceiling. It was night, pretty late, and everything was dark. Somehow I just couldn't sleep. I moved, tossed some pillows on the ground, picked them up again and sighed. Everything seemed so off…

When Remus and I came back to the castle, dinner had just started. And even though my stomach growled, I was stupid enough to ignore it and first get Remus into bed. He'd practically fallen asleep in my arms, so yeah, he needed it. And now I was left positively starving because James-the-Prat had refused to let me borrow his cloak to make a trip to the kitchens, and I couldn't sleep either.

"Padfoot? You awake?" James suddenly whispered.

"Mmhmm," I groaned, trying to ignore him and go back to my attempts on falling asleep.

"Everything went well last night?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Why are you still awake?"

"Not tired. Slept through the day already."

Silence once more.

"You okay?" I heard his bed cracking under his weight when he sat up.

"What d'ya mean?"

"What's between you and Moony?" How should I know!

The silence continued.

"Friendship." I paused. "Why?"

"Nothing. You guys get on so well, it just surprised me. You two spend too much time together nowadays. Any nightmares?"

I thought, then shook my head slowly. "No… None." That was the first time in all those years… So all he needed was someone to hold on to and to be hold by. Was it really that simple?

"That's great! How did you do that?" James beamed.

"I dunno. Just was there."

Silence again, almost deafening now.

"Do you think he might like you?"

"What do you mean?" Now it was my turn to sit up straight in bed. Like? Like in… love? How come my heart just skipped a beat?

"I mean, do you think he fancies you?" A slight smirk shone through his words, together with a mingle of amusement and faint disgust.

"No. Why should I?" Yeah, it's not like he blushes when I touch him or that my heart beats like crazy when he's near… Not at all!

"I dunno. Just playing with the thought. You seem his everything." He lay down on the bed again.

I wish… Hey, where did that come from?

"The Marauders are his everything."

"Mmhmm."

Silence.

"You sleeping Prongs?"

No answer. I fell back on the bed and turned around, trying to get all those words out of my head.

"_Do you think he might like you? I mean, do you think he fancies you?"_

The rest of my night was filled with Remus-filled thoughts and dreams. Just what is wrong with me? He's not a poof, and neither am I. I shouldn't even be thinking about this.

…So why am I?

* * *

Miraculously I slept through breakfast and didn't wake up before lunch. I'd probably missed some classes, but didn't really care. It wasn't like I was actually interested in school or anything. And James could copy Lily's notes, so I could copy his. Usually we copied Remus' notes but… Yeah. He slept through even more lessons then we. Sheer logic, isn't it? Can't really blame him for it.

He was still sleeping, thoroughly exhausted. The curtains around his bed were closed, but that didn't restrain me from peeking in and checking up on him. The way he lay there… He looked like some porcelain doll. So fragile and with a soft smile resting on his lips. What was he dreaming about? He looked so peaceful and free… It made me smile somehow.

"Is he sleeping?"

I spun around quickly, seeing James standing in the doorway. I calmed down again, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah."

"You're coming to lunch or what?"

"Yeah… I'll be down soon. You can go, I still need to shower."

"Cold shower Padfoot? Tsk tsk tsk," he grinned.

"Look who's talking." His grinned faded a little at my retort and he reddened. "Go bug Lily and leave me alone so that I can take my nice, long, hot, totally refreshing shower."

"Whatever. You're just jealous of what Lily and I have."

"And what's that? A baby?" I raised one eyebrow, looking at him sceptically.

"You've got nothing to do with Lily being pregnant or not! But for your information: she isn't." He turned around, walked out and slammed the door. "Hurry up, you shithead!"

"Oh stuff it!" was my unheard mumbled answer. Shower. Nice. Really needed it now.

As soon as the hot water ran over my body I relaxed under the light touch. It almost made me feel drowsy all over again. But I knew that sleeping wouldn't be a very good plan, and I was absolutely starving now! Hearing my stomach growl furiously, I sighed. Sixteen hours without food… How did I ever survive this in the first place?

* * *

When I came down, the Hall was full and crowded, even more then I remembered. After a night outside Hogwarts always seemed so small and way too busy for me. Like I was caught in a place that was choking me. And every month I had to get used to the same feeling all over again, but what else could I do?

Sitting between Lily and Peter, oh joy, I shared a glare with James. He still seemed pissed about the baby-comment, but I didn't really care. He'd changed too much to still be my same best friend, so I couldn't really feel guilty about saying something bad about 'his girl'. The food still hadn't even appeared on the tables yet, and to be honest I just couldn't wait much longer. My stomach, again, called out to me: 'starving, starving!' The horror…

Then the real horror stood up: Dumbledore. Or better said, his speeches were the real horrors. He ticked with his spoon against a cup, the high and sharp sound catching everyone's attention. He coughed, smiled, and began to speak.

"My dear students, as you all will surely know it is almost the end of this school year. It's been several pleasurable months in which we shared laughter and joy together. In about three months, some students will begin to follow their own ways. Just as every year, we will hold our Graduation Ball for those seventh year students. I just wanted to remind you that dress robes can be bought during the next Hogsmeade weekend, which is next weekend. Fifth and seventh year students, good luck on your O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s. That would be all, tuck in!"

He sat down again with the familiar and annoying twinkle in his eyes, and then finally the food appeared. Bread, pie, mashed potatoes, some green wiggly stuff that looked really icky and much more. I just grabbed a drink and started stuffing. Starving! But not for long anymore if it was up to me.

I saw Sandy sitting across from me, at the other side of the table and a few metres to my left. She was talking to one of her friends, with relatively short dark blond hair high up in a mini-ponytail. From what I could see she had a light tan and was darker than Sandy. Her hands were moving quickly as she talked, as if she wanted to strengthen her words. Apparently, they were either arguing or having a wild discussion. I couldn't hear them, what made it hard for me to figure out what was going on. Though a few moments later I knew it for sure: it was a row. The ponytail-girl stood up and ran away, out of the Hall.

One thing confused me. I didn't know the girl, so she wasn't a Gryffindor… Then what was she doing at another house table then her own? Weren't there rules for that sort of stuff? Still, rules are meant to break, yes, but I couldn't help but wonder.

Lunch slowly passed, and I was quite off the world for most of the time. First, my thoughts were with Remus. How would he be doing right now? And what? Would he be awake, hungry? Or sleeping, having a nightmare?

Second, Sandy and the mystery-girl. Just who was she? Why did they argue and about what? Why did she run away? I had to admit she'd got me curious and I just had to know. Call it my less charming side if you will.

Lunch was almost over by now – much to my chagrin since I still hadn't eaten enough – and the first people were standing up and leaving. And so did Sandy, running. I'd faintly noticed she hadn't smiled after the row between her and her friend anymore… Not that I'd watched her that closely or something, but still. And somehow, it actually worried me. Which was a weird thing, and quite uncharacteristic too… But hasn't everyone sides they have never explored in themselves? So when Sandy made a run for it, I followed her, determined to find out what was going on. I found her back kneeling on the floor and crying her eyeballs out, somewhere near the Gryffindor Tower.

"Sandy?" I kneeled next to her in an attempt to look her in the face. I failed. "What's wrong, girl?"

She just kept crying and grabbed hold of my robes, clinging to the dark fabric. I just let her, surprised by her sudden need.

"Everything's okay now, what happened?"

"Nothing…" she managed to choke out. The rest was not quite understandable because of her constant sobs.

"Shhh… I can't understand this way, calm down… Shhh…" I put my arms around her lightly trembling form, as if to protect her. From what? How should I know. Why? I didn't know. Why did I even care? It was just another girl, she was nothing special, and it wasn't that I loved her or that I felt a pull… But somehow I did like her. Well, we all have to get in touch with that less familiar side once in a while, right? Guess I'm turning into some overprotective sucker when I do it.

"Ama… Fight… Row… Hogsmeade… Ball…" was all I got out of her in the next ten minutes. Ama? Maybe that was the name of the other girl I saw?

"Ama?"

"Amarilla, my-" She hiccupped. "Best friend. I hope. Maybe she's my ex-best friend now. I just asked her… if she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me, just the two of us… To buy dress robes for the Ball! She suddenly… suddenly got all angry and twitchy and ran away… I don't understand…" she sobbed. She was calming down a bit, her words were beginning to form sensible sentences again and she had stopped trembling so much. It surprised me that I had been able to do this, and was actually quite pleased to know that I even had this ability. The amazingly sexy Sirius pulls it off again! Woohoo!

"It's okay. She can't be that far, right; she has to come back for… school. Right?" _School?_ That was weak! You're losing your touch.

"I'm scared… I'm so scared Sirius, if something bad happens I could never forgive myself! It's all my fault! I blew it and… And now…" Her sudden rage disappeared just as quickly as it had surfaced, but it seemed to have sucked up all her energy. She collapsed in my arms, leaning heavily on me and sobbing in my chest again. It was so weird… She was bawling her eyes out in my arms, and I? I particularly didn't care. I just let her. It was so… unnatural for me. Out of character. But reminding myself that I was the one running after her made me realise that I already knew that. Getting in touch with your other side, remember?

"Nothing bad will happen… Just wait, she'll be back in no time and everything will be okay," I shushed. In a final try to comfort her and make her stop sobbing again – and ruining my robes as well – I kissed her lightly on the temple, not even getting another reaction then her slowly dying cries. And we just sat there. My head spun a little, okay, so what was it that I'd done before the rage again?

Through a daze I suddenly heard footsteps echoing through the corridor and I looked up, right into the red bloodshot eyes of one Remus James Lupin, who was looking down at the girl-form in my arms. His eyes were wide and he looked shocked, or better said: totally devastated. Crumbling and on the very verge of breaking…

"Remus, I-" He broke his gaze away, abruptly turned around and ran away, Merlin knew where. My sight turned to blur and I felt dizzy. What was he doing? Why was he running away?

I loosened my embrace around Sandy, not really knowing what to do. I tried to stand up but failed, seeking support against the wall to refrain from falling. Things went so quick… Too fast… What in Godric's name had just happened?

"Go."

"But-"

"You want to. Go. I can see it… I'll be fine, thank you," she smiled up at me. My mind could only form one sentence: _like I bloody care right now_. "It's him you need to be there for," she quietly continued. Her eyes seemed to hold some creepy kind of knowing look that shouldn't have been there, a look I saw before in another pair of brown eyes not too long ago, a look that startled and scared me. But I refused to give it any thought and stood up, running in the same direction Remus had.

As if he would want to see me, it kept flashing through my mind. Shit!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A/N: First of all, SORRY for the big role Sandy had… And the slightly OOC Sirius… But I needed a situation where Remus would get REALLY jealous… Don't beat me up for it… I TRIED to keep Sirius in chara you know… At least he hasn't lost his vanity… EEP/hides and cowers/ And hell, this chapter was A LOT longer then my others, so I hope it was worth the wait… /gulps/

And now: REVIEW RESPONSES! LoL Thank you guys! xD

**Mara202**: You made me think about that… -.-;;; kinda forgot it… but then again, what use would it have to turn animagus if it doesn't protect in some way or another to werewolf bites? So yeah… I'm just guessing :P

**Kelby The Slytherdor**: LoL! And no, I can't guess. /insert wink here/ please tell me ;) /angel halo appears/

**CloverRock**: my poor poor brain… it loves HPDM… it goes crazy from writing RLSB… xD hehe one shall hope yup! I hope JKR sees the beauty of that pairing before it's too late ;) raw emotion? O.o what raw emotion? You need them to fuck for real then/gg/

**Marauder-girl**: agree, agree. it hurts, but it had to be done…

**LuH**: 2 hot gay guys together making out equals s3xeyness :P

**PanPan**: hints? What hints/looks innocent/

**Queequegg**: had one major headache that night… sorry. I'll check it for those errors.

**Sugar-Kat**/gulp/ erm… eep? O.O;

**candycloudz13**: I guess I should be sorry eh? xD and Sirius IS perverted:P hell he snogs every pretty girl in sight and those dreams about Remus aren't exactly your everyday business hehe but hey, u dun hear me complaining! xD

**lewna**: nope, not planning to. I made the decision to keep it all siri's! I want to keep remmi's feelings a secret… /giggles/

**Miss Moonlight**: very evil/sniffs/ aaaaah PURPLE FUZZY MONKEYS/dies/ …hey… O.O they're… /laughs/ PINK! xD I can't believe that you kidnapped Merijn's fuzzy monkeys for me… you're so sweet ;) hehe (6)

**Comment and critic please! Next chapters _will_ be coming!** Someday… Somehow… ehehe /gets hit by flying bricks again/ x.x I already have ch7 written out… Go me! xD LoL


	7. So Called Chaos

**EYES WIDE SHUT**

Heh, this chapter certainly took me shorter then the last one! xD But heh, it's shorter in length too… /sweatdrop/ no, no assassins/backs away, scared/ X.x

Warning: this chapter contains big BL fluffiness and playful flirting xD yay!

Thanks for all the requests to keep writing on this story, in hard times like this I need all the encouragement I can get ;) Review responses at the end folks! On with the story:

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**Chapter 7**

**So Called Chaos

* * *

**

_So called chaos clouding my mind,_

_so called chaos running through my veins._

_Everything I feel just feels so right_

_with you by my side to stay._

_The way you touch me feather light,_

_the way you try to protect me and fight,_

_I can't fight back more longer,_

_you scared logic and made it run away.

* * *

_

"Rem! Wait! Remus! For Merlin's sake Moony, stop! Let me explain!" I yelled. I knew he was there. I'd seen his back at the end of the corridor when I was at the beginning, but… He just had to be!

"Remus! Remmi damn it, just-" I was almost at the end now.

"Just what? You kissed her!" he yelled at me. After having turned the corner I almost bumped into Remus, who glared at me, furiously. "You sodding kissed her!" he repeated, voice shaking.

"She's a girl! Dear Godric, she's my _date_!" I yelled back, going into defence. "Why _can't_ I kiss her? And hell it wasn't even on her _bloody mouth!_ I just tried to comfort her, she was bawling her bloody eyeballs out!" I paused momentarily and gasped for air, clinging to the wall for support when my legs refused to let me stand any longer. Then something suddenly hit me. "And how do you know anyway? Have you been watching me? Bloody Merlin, I can't believe it if you-"

"Stop! Stop, stop, _stop_! Just stop that! Yes, I watched, what else could I do! Have you got _any idea_-" He abruptly stopped mid-sentence, paused and took a deep breath. When he continued his voice was less shaky, more controlled, but extremely tense nonetheless. "Nothing. Just nothing. You promised me you would be there for _me_, not for some blonde bimbo you want to screw so badly!"

"She's not a _stupid blonde bimbo_. Not even really blonde in the first place. And she has a name!"

"I don't care, I don't know it!"

"Remus, you can't tell me what to do! You're not my mother neither my bloody lover so just fuck off already! You're acting possessive and jealous!" Three seconds later I could've died from a deep feeling of guilt and embarrassment. I saw the hurt building up in his eyes and faintly registered he was crying.

Shit, now what. Not another one!

"Remmi, I-"

"Siri, you-"

We spoke at the same time. He looked down and went silent. I took a step closer to him and attempted to touch his face, wanting to look into his eyes. He only jerked away.

"Don't. Touch me. Just don't," he snapped. "You don't even care. You lied! You said everything would be okay, and that you would be there for me! But not even twenty-four hours later you promise the same thing to some random girl! Don't I mean anything to you Padfoot?"

His voice was so angry… So hurt… Bitter.

"Do I, Padfoot? Anything at all?"

"Of course you do, you idiot!" I half yelled back. "You know my friends come before everything… And the Marauders even above that, always." I sighed, his facial expression was still angry and hurt, and it didn't seem like it would change that soon. "You're a part of me Moony, how could I not care?"

"A friend. A Marauder," he repeated slowly. "What's the big difference. Part of you, you say? Then you must be friggin' numb if you can ignore my pain!"

_Wait._ Did Remus… _My_ Remus, the Remus I know so well… Just _swear_? Again? I blinked at his outburst. Wow. So he does have that other touchy part. Shows how good I know him, really.

"Remmi."

He didn't move.

"Look at me." I bowed down, searched for his eyes. "I'm sorry okay, honest. I didn't want or mean to hurt you, never. You _are_ a part of me, a special. You're my brain man, I couldn't do it all without you, I would be nowhere." He smiled softly, the corners of his mouth twitching up. I touched his cheek with my fingertips, brushing away his tears with my thumb.

"This okay?"

He smiled again, nodded.

"What are you doing out of bed anyway, you should be resting now! You know how much you're weakened after the full moon." I swung my arm around his shoulders, pressing him against me for a short moment. "And don't you even dare to worry about classes, you can borrow my notes. Ain't I a great friend?" I grinned at him.

He playfully hit me on the head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, playboy."

"Playboy?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Never mind." He put his arm around my shoulders too, leaning on me while stumbling back to the dorm.

* * *

"Siri, what are you doing?"

"Homework."

"That's scaring me."

"Be glad instead of that." I looked up to face Remus, who was lying across from me on his bed, and flashed him a grin. "But I know, it's freaking me out too in a way. Why aren't you sleeping? Staying awake isn't good for you."

"I can decide that for myself, thank you very much. But seriously, why are you making homework?" he repeated, his tone showing clear disbelieve. He sat up, watching me sitting on my own bed, surrounded by several books. "Not that I mind though," he added hurriedly.

"I'm sure you don't, as the bookworm you are. Today's just so boring. James is gone with Lily, I don't feel like hanging in the crowds today and I want to avoid Peter before he will think that I as much as can stand him," I mumbled, looking over to Remus again.

"He's not so bad. Right?"

"Ask James about it," I only snorted. "And to me, I think he resembles more of a pig then a normal human being."

"Well…"

"So you agree with me?"

"Didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Did you know I can read your thoughts?" He slightly reddened. "Okay, a knut for your thoughts. Who?"

"No one!" he retorted, a little too quickly.

"Sure…" I smirked and winked. Why was I so eager to know? "Remus and mystery-girl, sitting in a tree, K-I-"

"Stop that!" He crawled under the blankets, hiding deep under them. I stood up from the bed and walked over to his; nudged the lump and laughed at it.

"You're planning on staying there long, or..?"

No answer.

Okay, I just decided to do it the hard way. I jumped on the bed and strangled the lump, pulling the blankets off him. What came out was a furiously blushing and heavily breathing Remus Lupin with his dark blond hair all messed up, not knowing where to look. I grinned. Caught like a deer in the headlights. Or… Wolf in the headlights, that would fit better.

"You're making me really curious now, Moony. Can't you tell?"

"It's none of your business! Now get off me, you're heavy, I can't move!" He wriggled underneath me in a useless attempt to throw me off him. Instead he- Bad thought, bad thought!

"You really need to?" His blush deepened. And I called James nosey… But I want to know! …Jeeze, when did I begin whining mentally? Whiejh, I'm now officially declared loony!

"Well?" I poked him, wanting him to look at me so I could get the answer out of him by giving him my irresistible puppy dog eyes. Success guaranteed.

"Can't you get off me now? I can't breathe!"

Neither can I… Hey, who said that!

"No. First tell me." Who said being stubborn was a bad trait? I didn't.

"And you're the one talking about me resting," he mumbled. "You're freaking hyper."

I blinked owlishly. "I heard that, you know. And since when do you ever swear?"

"To be honest, I began today," he said resolutely, sitting up and crawling out of the bed, meanwhile pushing me off.

"Hey!" I glared at him, needing all my concentration to stop myself from breaking into a grin when he suddenly looked like he was sorry for me.

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes." I pouted and began to theatrically rub my now sour back.

"Good," was his short answer. I gasped when I noticed the slightly wicked smile on his face. Not a good sign. Definitely not a good sign. I know that smile. I invented it.

"You're evil."

"Learned it from the best, now didn't I." He shrugged.

"Didn't know you were into Malfoy that much, Moony." I cocked my eyebrow in mock-surprise.

"I mean you, you stupid!" He pushed me off again when I tried to sit down on his bed again, grinning at me. My third try finally turned out to be my lucky shot, since I was finally save from his wrath and could safely sit down.

"Didn't you have homework to do?"

"No," came my prompt answer. He only shook his head and smiled lightly. "Unless you'll help me?"

"You mean: copy all my answers. Nope, sorry, not going to happen." He paused. "I could tutor you though… That is, if you stop bugging me about that non-existing mystery-girl."

"What mystery-girl?" I looked at him, eyes blinking, waiting – a long time – for realisation to dawn on me. "Oh, I got it. Sure, no problem. Is it a guy then?" I grinned evilly.

But was I…

Feeling hopeful?

_No!_

"Sirius!" I rolled of the bed again, this time from laughing. "That's not funny!" Yes it is!

But I really need to work on those eyes… So far for irresistible.

* * *

"Hey-"

"You know-"

"What?" It was later that day, dinner had passed sometime ago already, and now we were back in the dorm. The room was empty again, leaving only us two together on our beds, books open before us. I was attempting to continue doing my homework, keyword being attempting. How teachers think we can do all this and on time too, it's still unclear to me. I'm not a Ravenclaw, and it's not like we can do magic… Well, not on homework anyway.

"You first."

"No, go on, what?" I looked at him with curiosity. "Ready to tell names, Moony?" His face fell and I immediately regretted saying anything. "Didn't mean it like that," I quickly apologised. "Sorry. What is it then?"

"'Tis okay. Nothing really. It's just that… Well… We've been working for so long now. I never thought you, well… could. In all those years you've never paid one bit of attention, and now you're flying right through it all. I'm just a bit surprised."

"So am I. Normally I never work. Guess I'm a genius then." I sat up and shrugged, then yawned widely and let myself fall down between my books. Lazily turning my head his way I looked at him again, a grin now plastered on my face.

"Caring for a pause, Padfoot?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Thought you would never ask! You're right, we've been working for too long now. Though to me all working is too long… Seriously, how can you possibly do this, day in, day out?"

"And then there was me, just wanting to ask you whether we could do this more often or not. But oh silly me, I should've known you would be too wild!" He crawled towards me over his bed, stopping at the side closest to me, one hand clamped over his mouth in an over-theatrical manner. Idiot.

"Cut the sarcasm."

"My, my, did I insult the gentleman in some way? My dear heart mustn't fail me from shock!"

"Ha-ha." I crossed my arms.

"Thee mustn't laugh about what thee does not find funny." Remus now stood on the bed, arms spread like an eagle and face reflecting my earlier grin. "Thy mustn't look so angry, wrinkles do not fit a pretty face like yours." With that he pointed to my forehead, grin growing slightly wicked.

"Pretty face? _Pretty?_ Why, never thought you saw me as girly, Moony. Should I thank you now or later?" I remarked, rolling my eyes.

"Pick, it's your choice," he laughed. "What would you rather have heard then? Handsome? Sexy?"

"For example… Don't forget to add babe-magnet to your list. And Remus? Stop reading that Shakespoof-guy his stuff. It's outdated and it sounds weird." I screwed up my face. "Thee shall not read the old weirdo his shite again," I drawled.

"The name's Shakes_peare_, just that you know. And he was an underrated genius. You would know if you would take the time to read some of his work," Remus snapped at me.

"You can read it _for_ me as a bedtime-story, I'm sure it's _boring_ enough."

"You're mocking me and it's not funny. Stop it." He crossed his arms stubbornly, same way as I had just a few moments before. Mirror, mirror…

"Oh, so now it's suddenly not funny anymore? And it is when you do it? Can't stand a little teasing can you?"

"Not from you I can't," he grimaced. "Both physically and mentally," I thought I heard him mutter after that. What, physically? I'm kind of lost now…

"Pause?" I offered hopefully, my stomach agreeing with me by grumbling loudly.

"Great idea." He sat down on the bed, got off it and walked to the door. "Well?" He looked around when I didn't follow. "I guess you idea for a pause contains a trip to the kitchens, so come on," he grinned.

"So the sweet little prefect wants to break the rules?" I reflected his grin.

"Never said I was 'sweet' you know. But thanks anyway." He grinned even wider. "Let's go."

I just shook my head and followed him out, thinking about how even a prefect could one day turn into a real Marauder. It would just be a case of hanging out with him enough, really. And I liked the idea of hanging around with him some more. Somehow.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Okay, so week 1 is over… Next chapter will begin at Monday I think, from then will race through the rest of the week… /hint/ I can't wait to start writing on the rest now… /hint hint/ Though inspiration hasn't really hit me… I'm going to Rome in 2 weeks, so I have a tight schedule to get up this chapter EWS, the last chapter 'Mistletoe Trouble', a one-shot I recently wrote and maybe even a chapter 'Accidentally In Love'… Anyway, I'll try to get as much up as possible! School's been killing me, exams really suck… x.x meh And then to think of it that when this year's over, I still have one more to go… DAMN YOU EXAMS, DAMN YOU/shakes fist at school and exams/ I swear, once school is over I'll make a fire in the backyard and burn my books/cheers/

ANYWAY… /stops rambling now/ REVIEW RESPONSES/major glompage/

**kio (pronounced KEE-OH)**: thank you so much for reviewing all chapters xD yay, cookie exchange:P /gives you 6 cookies/ and no, like I said before, no Remus POV, this story is all Sirius's.

**clear venom**: Sirius nice? Correction, Sirius desperate ;) but a crying girl ruins his mood I guess.

**Jackster222**/yells back/ HERE IT IS! HAPPY NOW/grin/

**Lorelei6**: yeah, it surprises me he's so mushy 0.o; this chapter just… shocked me… x.x but I think that it might work out in the story anyway.

**KEEP REVIEWING AND I'LL KEEP UPDATING!** /big wink/ hell, if you guys keep begging I might as well get an ego-boost out of it xD **Comments and crits please! **/gives cookies to all reviewers/ you were waiting for that, weren't you/glare/

_PS. Ch8 is in the works! Woohoo!_


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